17 Stats I Wish Were Tracked In Fantasy Football

chandler harnish

The “Countdown to Kickoff” is getting shorter, but there has been no shortage of talking points as the NFL Preseason continues, and the fantasy football season gets closer. So what exactly is the hot news of the day?

Even though Dolphins TE Dustin Keller suffered a major season (career?) ending injury, all I can think about is Colts rookie QB Chandler Harnish (whose amazing name was featured on the last “Countdown to Kickoff” list) accidentally hitting NFL sideline reporter Pam Oliver in the face with an errant pass. The final pick in the 2012 NFL Draft is pictured above.

This got me thinking, what if that somehow earned me some major fantasy points? And what if those points led me to a massive comeback victory? Even though most in-game situations have a stat and fantasy score attached to them, Pam Oliver got me thinking about a few others it would be interesting to see…

With 17 days to go before kickoff, there is still plenty of time for fantasy leagues to implement these:

1. SRHF (Sideline Reporters Hit by Football) – Pam Oliver: First overall pick.

2. BSS (Blind Side Sacks) – If your defense is playing the Chicago Bears, start ‘em!

cutler-blindside

3. TFG (Takeaways From Giveaways) – When your offense turns the ball over, then causes another turnover and gets the ball back, make it worth 10 fantasy points. I don’t care for who, I just want that ball back!

4. FKFG (Frozen Kicker Field Goal) – For some reason this rule still exists, might as well get some points for it.

5. TDLC (Touchdown with Lame Celebration) – Keeping with the “points for silly rule” theme.

6. PTDSD (Post Touchdown Slam Dunk) – Putting the ball through the uprights is still allowed, and should be worth an extra 2 points in my opinion. After all, it isn’t that easy, right Vernon Davis?

7. GFSBTB (Girlfriends Stolen By Tom Brady) – Not gonna lie, he seems dialed in already!

bradycreepin

8. CSPP (Crowd Shots of Player Parents) – How great would it be if you earned an extra fantasy point every time the broadcast cuts to someone like Archie Manning. Speaking of which…

9. CFM (Commercials Featuring Manning)Peyton Manning is your first rounder, Eli Manning would be a sleeper pick and Cooper Manning is a deep sleeper.

10. CFT (Challenge Flag Throw) – Imagine getting .5 fantasy points for every inch a challenge flag travels when thrown by a coach? That would be amazing!

11. TRBBF (Tony Romo Blamed By Fans)Tony Romo getting booed off the field at Cowboys Stadium? Add an extra point!

12. TRDBC (Tony Romo Defended By Coaches) – This will happen more.

13. ARBFC (Aaron Rodgers/Brett Favre Comparisons) – While these may not happen as much as they used to, it would still be nice to be treated to some points every time I hear some announcer drive this further into the ground.

14. GWD (Game Winning Drives) – No joke here. I would just love some extra points for my QB’s and RB’s going clutch and putting up big numbers when it counts most.

sanchize

15. MSP (Mark Sanchez Pouts) – He’s going to do it, and if you are silly enough to start him as your fantasy quarterback, you should at least get SOME points from him.

16. YBV (Yards Before Vulturing) – If your RB got the team to within the 5 yard line before another back “vultured” his touchdown, you get half the points for it.

17. FSPI (First String Players Injured) – If your defense knocks out an offensive starter, then you get extra po-…Actually, this sounds a lot like what the New Orleans Saints got in trouble for, so forget I said this.

In fact, fantasy football is pretty well scored already, so I don’t think any of these items being absent this year will ruin the experience for anyone.

Except for die-hard Pam Oliver fans. One more time, in case you missed it:

Hans Moleman Presents: “Pam Getting Hit By Football”

There are 17 days remaining until the start of the NFL season. If you’re not paying attention, it could hit you right in the face.

Previous “Countdown to Kickoff” Articles:

31 Mistakes I’m Not Going To Make This Fantasy Football Season

24 Things I Learned During Week 1 of the NFL Preseason

You can follow j.Bow on twitter (@jBowmancouver). He leads this site in the crucial BWWNWP stat (Blogs Written While Not Wearing Pants).

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J. Bowman is a wildly popular (and relatively good looking) blogger based in Vancouver, British Columbia. In addition to being a member of The Legion of Blog where he covers all things Vancouver Canucks, he likes to drop fantasy sports musings on the masses.

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